I just noticed on my dashboard the significant decline in numbers of people reading my blog in the last few days and I feel like screaming. Please dont let him go like that. Please read and help me remember Elijah. He deserves to be known.
I woke up shortly before 6:40 this morning from the amazingly weird dream where Elijah was back and I dont even know how he got there but I got to change his clothes and hold him as his little head bobbled around on my shoulder to tell me he was hungry. And then I guess we went to Wal-Mart with him and on the way back before I woke up I kept chexking his carseat to see if he was there, and there he was. So tiny and so very much alive.
In the dream I kept saying things like "look who is back!" And the funny thing is people just acted like he never was gone. I kept thanking God for the miracle and it was all just so wonderful. Then I woke up.
I dont want to say I woke up totally sad. I just woke up teary eyed a bit. I just layed there in the dark silence for a while and I could still see his face and hear him cooing at me. He was in his little carseat and he eas squirming around and it was beautiful.
I was originally going to post about how angry i was yesterday and how horrible of a day it was, but I just cant seem to do it. But please know the hurt and anger are still there and that I still miss him with all my heart and soul. Please continue to pray for Elijah and his peace. Pray if youd like for my family too. We have a veey hard journey ahead of us.
I love you so much Elijah. Thank you for being in my dreams. I miss you.
That's so touching – that you got to hold him and hug him and love him once again, even in your dreams. I hope he visits you over and over again.
ReplyDeleteDreams are so special. I truly believe some of them hold meaning and power and are meant to comfort, strengthen and heal us. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you experienced this dream. It's wonderful how honest and open you are being about all of your feelings, you are a strong woman Kelly.
ReplyDeleteThat dream was his way of letting you know that he is ok. He is with Jesus know resting in the arms of the angels. He is at peace and he knows you loved Him and that you will never stop loving him. Elijah would not want you to let his death drown you. Continue to find a way to celebrate his life and the 98 days of wonderful you had with him. I do not know what your going through I can only imagine. However I know a man that can bring you peace in the midst of this raging storm and his name is Jesus. Just call on the name of Jesus and he will answer, he has the power to still this raging sea. You will never forget your sweet baby boy and as a mom you will always feel you should have been there but don't let it destroy you. My prayers are with you and your family. Stay strong mom and God Bless!!!
ReplyDeleteDreams are a way for our Angels to visit us. To let us know they're okay and in a better place. My prayers and thoughts are with you, Elijah and your family.
ReplyDeleteDreams are a way for our Angels to visit us. To let us know they're okay and in a better place. My prayers and thoughts are with you, Elijah and your family.
ReplyDeleteKelly,
ReplyDeleteYou have not a clue who I am, and I only know of you through one of my children. Maybe you were on the soccer team or some club in high school with one of my daughters, but none of this matters. From one Mother to another (our age difference is 22 years), my heart has a physical ache for your loss and wonder how it is that you can put one foot in front of another (only God could give you the strength to do so). I pray that you will have more and more dreams in the days to come, because I know this will bring you comfort. Praying that the dreams will help you to remember Elijah's soft skin, his baby smell, his sweet baby drool, his amazement at new things and his smiles (especially those of when he was asleep and he curled his lips and you wondered what he was dreaming... I'm sure he was dreaming of You!) I am so very thankful that Elijah had a Mom and family who loved him well his few short days on this earth!
I will always remember Elijah, even though I've never met him, or you. Your grief is enough motivation for me to keep him on my heart. Ever since I learned about him through our mutual friend Rachel, I've thought and prayed about you and your family nearly without ceasing. I am so sorry this happened and I wish there was anything I could do to help.
ReplyDeleteI know from personal experience that our departed loved ones will visit us in our dreams, and many times. It's such a sweet blessing for Elijah to come and see you, and I hope he does again and again for the rest of your life.
I hope you will tell us more about him in your coming blogs. 98 days is a lifetime, and there is so much to savor in each moment.