A candle For Elijah

Its 7:26am.

I taking my mom to the airport later today and kids to school tomorrow.

Blogging in the bathtub on my phone is part of my daily ritual for now. It helps. Its my time with Elijah and It helps me to get the anger and frustrations out here instead of at other people.

I have seen me and my husband try to be more patient with our other children these last few days. We have to remember that they matter too and they need our love and support.  And I know this will burn a little bit, but I feel sort of guilty sometimes being with them now. I dont honor the feeling because of course I love them, but there were supposed to be 4 little boys here.

Yesterday we went to the funeral home to sign paperwork.  Later Ij n the afternoon they told me they had received Elijah and he was in their care now. They even managed to get a tiny bit of hair for me as a keepsake.

Sigh.

Lets talk about Elijah's memorial briefly.

I work at Disney's Contemporary Resort.  Sometimes I struggle to like my job, but I will never be more appreciative of my work team as I am for them helping me with Elijah's beautiful memorial.

We took all of the family that was here out on two boats to watch the fireworks over Magic Kingdom. Then we lingered out infront of the castle for a little while said some prayers and let sunflowers go in the lake.

It was beautiful.

Magic Kingdom was the only "big place" we ever got to bring Elijah.  He stayed snuggled up to me the whole time in his little carrier and we went The Monsters Inc Laugh Floor, People Mover and The Haunted Mansion. On the bus ride home a lady commented on how beautiful all of the boys were. It is a sweet little memory.

I cant seem to figure out how to get to the pictures of the memorial  through my phone...Sorry.


Just know that it was perfect.

Yesterday I bought a candle in memory of Elijah and placed it in the Mother and Child garden at a beautiful Catholic Church here in Orlando. It was for Elijah of course, but i hope it can also find a way to bring other families comfort and peace as well.

Thenwind was blowing Hard and there was a storm rolling in. I had to fight to light the candle, but I did. Just like Elijah the flame was only alive for a moment, but it brought me such love.

My mom, Alex and I  also said prayers for Elijah insude the beautiful church as well.

we love you Elijah and  miss you very much