Tuesday, December 15, 2015

"home"

It is 8:26pm

We are in Natchitoches now at my dad's rent house.

Gabriel is laying next to me playing with the app Pou.

It is a little alien creature that looks like a pile of poop...but lately I have gotten attached to taking care of the silly thing.

Anyways, we stayed with my mom last night on the way here. She got a new place and it was nice to see it.

Today we woke up and then drove to see my dad.

 I have been thinking about Elijah a lot...which is nothing new.

I think the reason they take you to take it day by day is because sometimes it can literally take your breathe away when you think about going through an entire lifetime without your child...

I just miss him so much.

Levi and I were able to go to Walmart earlier...just the two of us, and we were trying to figure out what to get the kids for Christmas.

Normally this excites me, but honestly with Elijah not being here, and being practically homeless, I am really not in the mood to Christmas shop...

We decided that we are going to probably get the boys tablets for Christmas. It will make the kids happy and they don't take up a whole lot of space.

I don't want them to be totally absorbed in electronics, but for right now, I think that is the best Christmas we can give them.

Ugh... we dont even have a tree here.

Just a bunch of cookie dough...which is a start I guess.



Oh Elijah,

I miss you so much. I don't know how to do this. I thought the first three months were supposed to be the hardest, but three months have passed and it is not getting any easier...and I still have many years to go.

I miss you so much my boogie.

Shine down on me.

I love you so much.

<3

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