It's called "The Power of Kindness," and is written by Piero Ferruci.
The book talks through 18 different standpoints from qualities of kindness: Honesty, Warmth, Forgiveness, Contact, Sense of Belonging, Trust, Mindfulness, Empathy, Humility, Patience, Generosity, Respect, Flexibility, Memory, Loyalty, Gratitude, Service, and Joy.
Because I know that you are not all as much of an "kindness enthusiast" as I am, I plan to go through each of these, blog by blog, breaking it down for you.
Maybe it will inspire you to become a kindness enthusiast-- or maybe it will just convince you to be a little more kind.
Either way, its a win.
I think you will find it interesting just how powerful making the choice to be kind is.
The first Quality of Kindness is Honesty.
So, let's be honest.
Kindness is often perceived as a weakness-- and honesty is usually seen as hurtful.
"At first it seems that telling the truth is more uncomfortable and difficult than telling a lie. And it is just this conviction that leads us to lie to hide our weaknesses and avoid giving explanations or getting into trouble--out of laziness or perhaps out of fear. Yet it is a falsehood that in the long run is more difficult and complicates our lives." ~Ferruci
The truth is always kinder than a lie.
Reading more into this chapter, it further proves that we are kinder to ourselves just by telling the truth.
Ferruci talks about how lie-detector devices used in police investigations are able to detect lies by the amount of stress, muscle tension, and elevated blood pressure we produce when telling a lie.
On the contrast Ferruci also talks about extreme eccentrics (unconventionally strange people, like the cat lady who lives on the hill) who are completely honest with themselves and have no intention of fitting into a normal society. These people are actually found in studies to be more happy and live longer healthier lives than most.
Honesty has to start with you.
"To thine own self be true." ~Polonius
However, of course, its kind to tell others the truth as well.
For instance, this very morning, I was at work for a little over an hour, before someone finally told me I was not wearing a name tag. And where I work, this is a pretty big thing.
Later in the day after finally putting on a name tag, I was told by others that they had noticed, but didn't want to say anything because they didn't want to be "that person."
However, "that person" who actually told me, didn't make me feel bad. At worst, I was a little embarrassed with myself for being forgetful--but now I was informed and was able to fix the silly mishap. Once again, honesty had prevailed.
Okay, so a missing name tag is not as scary as having to tell someone that you have done something that will hurt them majorly.
But nothing feels like the cage of dishonesty. I have been there many times before I learned my lesson.
Just thinking back to the morning I made my mom deliver a very sappy Hallmark Card with an even sappier handwritten note to my dad, telling him his teenage daughter was pregnant.
The whole day while I was away at class, my stomach churned. I had no intention of ever telling my parents. Somehow in my crazy hormonal mind I was going to hide it forever (don't ask me how exactly..lol).
Sometimes withholding the truth is just as bad as a lie.
When I finally got home that evening, my dad sat me down. I don't remember much of the conversation. But there was no yelling, no anger, just a discussion of responsibility, and a ton of relief.
Was I relieved that I was a very lucky teenage girl who had parents who loved her and would never kick her out?? Absolutely.
But I was even more relieved because I was done bearing the heavy weight of a lie that was inevitably headed towards a fiery doom.
Let the truth set you free.
I'm not perfect, and neither are you. We are going to fumble and fall on our faces. We are going to lie to hide our weaknesses at some point. But the point I am trying to make is there is always the option of truth. And the truth doesn't have to hurt.
One last thought before I wrap this blog up.
Something I have always said is, "If you are going to be kind, be genuine. Anything less is just cruel."
Ferrucci backs me up on this belief, "Not only is honesty compatible with genuine kindness, it is the very basis of kindness. False kindness pollutes. As long as you are not living the truth, you cannot really communicate with others, you cannot have trust, you cannot relate. As long as you do not call the hard realities by name, you are living in the land of dreams. There is no room for you and me there, but only for harmful illusions. Inasmuch as we lie, we live a life devoid of reality. And kindness cannot exists in a world of masks and phantoms."
Have a great night and thank you for reading!
Be Kind,
Kelly Airhart
Excellent
ReplyDelete