Im bathtub blogging.
Anxiety is really high this morning and I find myself really missing Elijah today.
As I mentioned on my facebook page a few days ago, you can easily go through all the stages of grief in one day and they can just restart for no particular reason at all.
I just wish I could hold him.
He is with the funeral home, but im not sure when we get to pick him up. I suppose I can text the lady today. I just hate having to make efforts like this. Not because the funeral home is doing a bad job, it just makes everything so real.
We had him cremated so he can still come home to us. I am not ready to let him go.
Levi had a beautiful idea that when we buy our plots one day, we would ask to have him burried inbetween us, because he is the only kid we've had that hasn't got to sleep between us. I thought it was such a great idea.
Until then...he will stay with us.
More people have sent me beautiful stories of acts of kindness they have done. Large tips for a cab driver who was having a bad day. Help paying for the person behind them in line. Feeding more homeless people.
A friend of mine is even trying to organize a trash pick up with my graduating class for homecoming week at NCHS. I hope it works out.
This is all for you little man. We will keep your spirit alive through kindness. I promise you.
I may be sad but I believe that you are at peace and that you are always with me. Feel free tovisit me in my dreams. I miss you alot.
No comments:
Post a Comment