Good Night

It is 10:29pm.

I honestly didn't do much today...

I felt drained...

(tmi alert)

My period just drains me...It makes me more emotional. As I mentioned before it is a monthly reminder that not only do I not have Elijah, I will probably never have another baby either...and it literally drains me physically...

Also, I gave up soda almost a week ago, so the lack of caffeine is not really helping either.

Anyways, I tried to file my taxes, but for some reason I am not receiving my child tax credits for the 3 boys who are still living. I received a new credit for Elijah, but none for them....and I won't be able to find out why until the 15th according to HR Block....so I put that on pause, because as far as I know we meet every single requirement for the credit..and God knows we need it. I made less than 1/2 my income last year...

I didn't even round up to $15000.

I don't know how we are still surviving....

BLAH!!!!!

Anyways, I spent a good bit of time working to find an answer myself, but it looks like I will just have to contact a tax expert, because I couldn't find anything that would explain why we didn't qualify all of a sudden.

Then I went and checked the mail boxes...no letters for Love, Elijah.

I am trying to be patient...it is still fairly new, but I am really limited on resources, so it is frustrating to feel like i am not getting anywhere....

Today I pinned all my blogs to Pinterest on both my personal page and a page I created for Love, Elijah.

I also made a new post about the project on instagram and am going to try to remember to do it everyday.

Tomorrow I am going to make fliers to post at libraries and try to figure out where I can start holding support group meetings.

I have so many ideas swirling around in my head...I just have to put it all down on paper and take a step at a time....and remind myself that I don't really have any deadlines...

It is just really important to me.

I promised Elijah we would change the world together, and that is what we are going to do <3

Hey, do you want to hear a really easy act of kindness that will make you feel good-- and your friends too?

I just finished "compliment bombing" random friends on Facebook as my act of kindness in memory of Elijah for today.

All I did was googled things like "compliments" or "you are awesome" in image search and then saved the ones I liked and posted them on random friend's timelines.

It felt really good and I think it should make them smile....I hope.

Anyways, I really enjoyed it and I think I will make it a weekly thing....

OKay....as I mentioned before...I am pretty drained, so I probably get some sleep so I can actually go out and be productive tomorrow.

good night.

Elijah, 

Oh sweet boy.

You have the best big brothers on the planet.

They love you so much

and think you are the best baby ever.

I think so too.

We all miss you so much.

I love you my boogie.

<3