No complaints: Day 7

It is 8:44pm

As far as my no complaining goes... just like every other day, I have failed.

It is really almost impossible...or maybe inhuman to not complain I think...but I am trying.

When I have concerns, it is really hard for me not to dwell on them and turn them into complaints...

It is one thing, I guess, to be concerned about something and do something about it--and it is another to be concerned about something and just talk about it over and over again.

But sometimes there are problems that you just can't do anything about.

Well, then what?

That is a good question...I'm still trying to figure it out.

I think it is okay to talk about your problems, because sometimes it can help you process emotions or problem solve. I think there is a difference between that and complaining.

When you complain continuously it can be a real drainer on you and on everyone around you.

Since I have lessened my complaint level, I have noticed a stronger need for patience, which has calmed my crazy anxiety and sometimes random fits of rage.

Concentrating on not complaining is a mindful action that requires me to make positive choices and slow down and think about what I am thinking or saying.

Right now, it involves a lot of work...lol.

I hope to form this sacrifice into a habit and continue with ease in the future--it if possible.

We shall see.

Tomorrow I am going to go view a house for rent that is right behind Levi's gym.

I am hoping that it is a private renter and that he is willing to take a chance on us.

It is at the top of my budget, but it is also walking distance from Levi's gym which would save some gas money...

The house is really cute, and there is a little bit of a back yard.

Just pray for a miracle, because I need it, with the application, with the downpayment, with so much.

And always pray for my Elijah!

Elijah, you are loved...so so much.

Someday it will all add up

and then everyone in the world will know my love for you...

and you and I will change the world with that love.

I promise.

Love and miss you more than you could ever imagine.

<3