No complaints: Day 9 (well maybe a little bit of complaining)

It is 10:22pm

Our current "neighbors" have an infant in their room and I hear it crying.

This is not a complaint...I am actually quite empathetic when it comes to parents traveling with small children and have no problems with the sounds of an infant. I understand their struggles all too well. I know that they are doing the best they can--babies just cry. Not really a big deal.

But tonight I have already been crying because I miss Elijah so much... and this sweet baby's cries are only making me miss him more.

And by me crying, I mean the kind of tears that make your lips turn down into a frown. The tears that make your heart hurt. They are the ugly kind.

I am putting together a page on my new Love, Elijah website that is dedicated to all the kind acts done in Elijah's memory.

I am mostly just copying them from instagram, but the further I go back in time to get the information, the closer I get to reliving every single moment of heartbreak.

I know it will all be worth it because the page is already amazing and inspiring--and in just 5 months there has been so much done. So much work done, that I have worked on this page for 3 days now and am not close to finishing. I am surely making a difference in Elijah's memory.

But I would still much rather be holding him instead.

Other than this current posting though, I have done pretty well with no complaining today.

I pretty much stayed at my computer all morning working on the page, then went to watch Alex and Julien do their science fair projects at school.

They did amazing and I am so proud of both of them.

Julien and his partner were quite silly and entertaining, and Alex has some incredible presenting skills. Both of them were fantastic.

After school we ran and got pizza because it was super cheap today and the kids deserved it, and then I brought them to their MMA classes.

Again, Alex and Julien did great. Gabriel is--well--he will get there...lol.

It wasn't a bad day, I just came home and suddenly was struck with emotions...emotions that are well deserved.

I miss Elijah so much and no matter how hard I try, or the progress I make, nothing will stop me from ever thinking this is unfair. And yes, that is a complaint...but I think I am allowed this one.

Well, I want to try and get close to finished on my acts of kindness page tonight...so I guess I am going to work on that some more now.

Please say a quick prayer for me, and my emotions..they are all over the place.

And always pray for my Elijah.

Elijah,

This moment in this picture

might be one of the best feelings I have ever felt.

I miss holding you.

I miss everything about you.

I can't even explain what I am feeling.

Just know I love you and miss you so so so much.

<3