sacrifice

It is 8:54pm.

Today is the start of Lent.

Last year I was pregnant with Elijah so aside from giving up seafood on Fridays, I decided not to give up anything and to just be more prayerful and find ways to spend more time with God each day.

This year, I think i will continue with last year's idea and I am going to give up complaining.

Ok...talk about a sacrifice right?

No...nobody wants to complain? (well in my world of unicorns and pixie dust the answer is no) But it is something we are all guilty of doing too much of.

This does not mean I will mask my hurt, it simply means I will try harder to be mindful of ways to get around complaining about insignificant things, and try a little bit harder to thank God for the good in my life.

It will not fix my grief. It will not fix Elijah being gone...

It will be a big challenge and one that I can only see benefiting from in the end.

So here goes 40 days of no complaining.

Wish me luck.

Alright, I also wanted to quickly mention that I did attempt to hold my first Love, Elijah meeting tonight and nobody showed up. However I was not discouraged. I learned a lot from it.

I learned that you should really check your calendar before setting a date. I learned that it takes a lot more promotion work. And I also eminded myself that there is always next time and this is too important to give up.

So I will check the calendar and better prepare myself for the next meeting and just keep trying.

While I was at the library I did notice that a few of the tabs had been taken off my flier I had posted a few weeks back:

I almost kind of feel like seeing this was worth it.

Hi little sunflower. Hi Elijah. Momma misses that sweet nose and those sweet eyes and everything sweet about you. I miss your serious face. I miss your little smile and your little frown. I miss you.

I am not giving up. We are going to change the world together kiddo...I promise you.

Love you so so so so so so so much. <3