10 Months Old

It is 10:18pm.

I've got to start getting things done earlier in the day so I can get to bed at a decent time.

I have been exhausted lately.

Today Elijah should have been another month older...

He should be 10 months old...starting to toddle around and holding fingers to try and walk.

This is one of my favorite stages because little babies are so cute when trying to learn to catch their balance and they get so proud of them selves when they take those first big steps.

I wish I could see him walk.

It is tearing me up inside that I never will.

This summer I was going to plan this huge 98 mile hike, which would be one mile for every day Elijah lived.

But we have so much going on with opening our art therapy room, and the kids have a camp to go to, I don't know when I am supposed to find time to get up north to do it.

So I think I am going to put that hike on hold, for now, and then commit myself to do 98 hikes between now and Elijah's next birthday.

Not for fundraising. Not for awareness. Just for him. He will never walk this earth...so I am going to do it for him.

I can't wait to start...

Anyways, today was not the greatest for fundraising...we had one etsy order.

Don't get me wrong, I am stoked for that etsy order! I LOVE etsy orders, but we have a long way to go to get to $5000.

But like I said, it can totally be done...so I am going to keep trying.

ALSO, today, we got the keys to our new Love, Elijah Art Therapy Room!!!

I am so excited about this, because the more I stood in it today, the more perfect it became. I think we are going to do some amazing things.

But like I said I need some sleep. I kept extra busy today to keep myself from falling apart, and now I am falling asleep.

Please keep praying for The Love, Elijah Project. Pray for me and my family. And always, pray for my Elijah.

Oh sweet boy, I should be holding your hands and teaching you to walk. 

I should be listening to you babble and scream with your brothers.

I should be laughing at what a mess you would be.

We should be so many things...

Happy 10 months birthday anniversary in heaven.

I love and miss you so very much my boogie.

So very much.

<3