Remember what I said last night about going to bed earlier?
Obviously that was not in the stars tonight.
I just finished making 5 homemade cards for our Love, Elijah Birthday Remembrance cards.
I love making homemade cards. But they do take some time to make...
Before that, I was fulfilling etsy orders <3
Before that, I took the kids to Magic Kingdom for a few hours before Disney gets ridiculously busy, and before it gets too hot.
It was really hard for me to step back into Magic Kingdom, because it is the place I was at when Elijah passed away. I will always feel guilty for leaving that day and for riding roller coasters as he was taking his last breath...nobody can really make me feel otherwise...
But I managed to get through the night and the boys had a really good time. The weather was nice and we managed to do quite a few things.
It is hard...it is so hard doing things with them when I know I will never get to do them with Elijah.
Like last night, Levi and I were joking around about how we could have a ton of grandkids some day, and in my head I was calculating all 4 of my boys having kids...when in reality, I will only ever have grandkids (possibly) from 3 of my boys.
That is another huge loss in the world. Elijah will never have a child of his own.
Everyday something new dawns on me. And sometimes I can shake it, and sometimes it sits heavy on my shoulders.
But somehow I have survived this far...I guess I will keep going.
Oh! Tonight a really awesome friend of mine on Facebook made a lovely post about The Kind Knight and I wanted to share it. Here is the link to the post:
https://www.facebook.com/ReesSpechtLife/photos/a.226872730779240.59687.224660111000502/814220678711106/?type=3&theater
Like me and my family, this amazing fella and his family spread kindness in their son's memory. They have done some amazing things, and I am so honored that they shared mine and Elijah's story.
Wellllll...it is late, and I have so much to do this week. I should probably getting some sleep sometime soon.
Please if you can, keep up the donations. We really need to file our tax exempt status if we want to grow and it cost $400 to file. I have raised quite a bit of money already, and I realize that, but I had to use that money to get us into this studio before it got taken by another person who was interested in it. It is the only affordable spot I could find, and we really needed it.
I am taking big leaps of faith and am blown away by how generous people have been. So my hope is that the generosity continues.
Please keep praying. Pray for The Love, Elijah Project. Pray for me. Pray for my family. And always pray for my Elijah.
Hi my sunflower. Hi my Elijah. I love and miss you very much. I never stop thinking about you. I never will. I wish I could hear that fuss again. I wish so many things. Good night my boogie. <3
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