Grief Brain

It is 11:55pm.

If today has taught me anything, it is that I should really learn to say no when I really don't feel like doing something.

Also, I think my grief brain is at an all time high or something, because tonight I have been so distracted.

Long story short, at work I had one final delivery come through that pushed me over my hours. When I finished with that order I received a text asking if I wanted another order, even though I was technically finished with my shift. I was tired, but I decided to take it anyways, because I am pretty hard up for money and it was just one more delivery....

And here is where grief brain hit me. I took the order and drove about 15 minutes and then I looked at my GPS and noticed I still had 15 minutes to drive. They had dispatched me outside of my area. And at this point, I figured I might as well just go ahead and finish the order, because they were obviously short on drivers and I had already driven half the distance.

So I drove 30 freakin minutes to deliver Steak and Shake to some poor college kid who only tipped me .83.

Blahhhhh....

I just need to finish my books I am working on and get published or win the lottery lol.

I am so tired..

Anyways, as we get closer and closer to Elijah's angelversary, please please please keep my family in your positive thoughts and prayers. It is slowly killing me a little every day as we count the days.

I need a hot bath and some sleep.

Good night every one.

Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always, pray for my sweet Elijah.

Oh beautiful boy. 

I miss you so much.

Just look at you.

Look at those sweet hands. 

Look at that sweet nose.

Oh I want to kiss your cheeks again.

I want to hold you so tightly.

I love you so much.

<3