I Just Suck At Life Right Now

It is 10:41pm.

I should be asleep....

I brought the car in at 7am this morning to get an alignment and then was told it needed like $900 worth of repairs but that they could bring it down to $700 and then I had a mini meltdown and ended up walking out with 2 new tires, an alignment and something else car related for $200.

So my day started off stressful.

And my chest has been hurting again....much like it did a few months after Elijah passed away.

And when it is not my chest, it is my stomach.

It probably has everything to do with my horrible dietary habits...

Like I either don't eat...or I eat complete garbage.

And my main staple lately has been Dr. Pepper.

And I haven't been walking since we moved, so that's not helping either...

I just suck at life right now.

Levi and I were just talking about what we are supposed to do Saturday to celebrate Elijah on the one year anniversary of him going to Heaven, and we both are completely clueless as to what to do.

I know we are going to ask people to write his name in the earth (or on paper) wherever they are and send pictures to us, but as a family we would like to find some way to honor Elijah that day.

I don't know what to do.

I wrote a tiny bit more on my book tonight and am slowly inching forward in my progress. I think I am about to take a bath and write some more before going to bed.

Just keep praying please.

Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Thanks

This was the best feeling in the world.

You completed our family. 

You made me so happy.

You are my baby boy

and I will always love and miss you.

<3