450: Ain't No Sunshine

It is 3:15pm.

It is a gut punch kind of day.

All morning I tried staying positive. I am still trying....you don't know how hard I am trying.

But I am tired.

I am trying to remember not to take things personally.

The rain stops for no one, and it certainly does not have a plot to destroy me (at least I don't think so).

But today was supposed to be a great source of income for my family.

This was supposed to help us with bills that need to be paid.

It was supposed to help us with Christmas.

It was supposed to give us a cushion until we got things figured out...and honestly I thought we had things figured out.

This is the first Christmas Festival Parade to be cancelled since the 40's and it is just...well...sad.

I watched as vendors came from all over and tried to set up in the pouring rain, and tried to remain hopeful until we all got the announcement that the parade had been cancelled...and then one by one I watched as disappointment spread across our faces and we all packed up and started to head home.

I know I will sell all the books I have right now to stores around town to stores. But I make 55% less on those book sales, and while it brings me some comfort to know I have some money coming in--it also feels like a huge loss.

On a brighter note, the article for The Natchitoches Times came out today, and it was a really nice piece that talked a little bit about the book, The Holiday Remembrance Tree, Eli's Kindness Squad and our Diaper Drive.

And while it has only brought 3 views to my webpage today, it has put Elijah's sweet love into lots of people's hands, and that is my saving grace today.

That is what is pulling me through right now.

I am going to go work on promoting my little book and hopefully get some sales. I only have a few days to secure book orders in time for Christmas so please pray that I have some sort of miraculous turn around.

Thanks.

And you know the drill....pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always, pray for my sweet Elijah.

Hi sweet boy.

I am having a rough day.

I am praying for so many miracles.

I miss and love you so much.

Always. 

<3