453: Weight

It is 10:23pm.

I am 140(ish) pounds right now.

That is only 5 pounds heavier than I was when I just found I was pregnant with Elijah.

But it is heavier than I want to be.

And I can tell my body is not what it used to be when I had a very active job and was moving all day.

So today I started Zumba classes. And I am hoping that together with my It Works products I am going to order, I will be able to lose 10-15 lbs...

But my real goal is to just be healthier.

I need to take better care of myself. All the post traumatic stess from losing Elijah and unstable home life has really made it hard to commit every time I have tried to commit to this before.

But now that we have a place to live and I have a reason to hold myself accountable, I will be able to push myself to get better.

I will never be the old me and that is okay.

I just want to be the best I can right now.

Today was a pretty good day.

I brought books to stores and am always amazed at how wonderful the business owners in town are.

And then I came back home and made some more eggplant parm, since we had all the stuff left over from yesterday's shopping excursion.

And then I went to Zumba while Levi worked with a guy that has karate classes here on trying to establish a wrestling class that he can help teach.

Things are getting there. I pray everyday that we keep moving forward and don't fall apart anymore lol.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers.

Please keep praying for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

I just miss you.

I miss you so much.

Everything around here seems to be getting better 

Except that you won't be coming back...

It is still so hard to accept that.

I love you so much.

<3