Sunday, January 1, 2017

479: Happy New Year's Elijah

It is 7:15pm.

In just a little while I am going to gather up the kids and shoot the last of our sunflower fireworks and get them bathed and ready for bed. Tomorrow we start "school" again.

My stomach is churning because I just sent out quite a few messages asking people to hosts It Works Wrap parties for me.

I really don't want to bother people, but sometimes if you don't take a step out of your comfort zone and ask, it will never happen. So if I bugged you, I'm sorry. I promise it probably won't happen too often ;) I am just trying to reach goals and support my family.

My current It Works goal is to book 10 wrap parties by April 22nd (which is my birthday). This is mainly to help me talk to more people and build new relationships. I don't know a lot of people in Natchitoches anymore and I don't want to have to bug the people on Facebook that I already bug enough about everything else in my life. lol.

And I can tell you that so far, it has been disheartening. But it has only been one day.

I guess it will get there. I just have to keep pushing forward.

Today I also changed the direction of The Love, Elijah Project.  It will be a slow change but I explained it all on this facebook post:

"With a new year comes change. I want to apologize because it feels like I have really fell off my game. But sometimes grief and life can consume you, and I have to honor that and I had to take care of myself and family for a while. But it is time to move forward. The Love, Elijah Project will be changing!
We will be focusing more on Kindness this year and Elijah's love. We promised Elijah that we would change the world in his name, and we are going to do just that. But please read all the way down to the bottom, because I don't want you to think we have forgotten about our fellow angel parents!
Our old p.o. box has closed. My family and I have moved from Florida and I simply cannot go out there enough to make any sense over keeping it open. I will be slowly be changing the website and bringing it up to date. But we still want to help you tell your story of love and loss.
My big project of the year is to compile a 365 day companion book to eventually donate to hospitals and in care packages to mail out for grieving parents. This means I am now looking for 365 comforting letters from parents around the world who have also lost children. I want to try and keep the letters to a minimum of one page front only, because 365 is a lot of pages. But the letters can be typed or written. We will also be accepting encouraging and uplifting artwork or photographs from angel parents too.
For contributing, you will receive a free copy of the book and you can feel good knowing that you are helping other parents out there who are going through the worst pain imaginable.
My goal is to have all this put together and published by October 15th in time for #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessday.
If you would like to send a letter or artwork, please message me so I can send you a release form and give you more information.
And OF COURSE we will still do our annual Holiday Remembrance Tree.
Love you all. Hope you have a gentle and happy new year. Lots of love and sunshine <3
Thank you!
Kelly Airhart
Founder and President of The Love, Elijah Project"

I have felt pretty terrible about not doing much with The Love, Elijah Project lately. I have also kind of dodged support groups and other opportunities to be involved in the loss community because it was bringing up a lot of my own grief and my post traumatic stress was really bugging me. I even kind of prayed to God yesterday about maybe backing away. I thought that maybe it was not the road I was supposed to take. 

But then last night a sweet lady messaged me and told me she found this blog and how even though it had been around a year that she had lost her son, she really hadn't been able to talk to anyone outside of her family about it. And it felt so good to help her talk about her son and to give her some resources. I think God must have know I needed her at that moment, maybe just as much as she needed me. 

So this morning I thought maybe I shouldn't back away. Maybe I just need to change things...so here I am changing things. I just hope it works <3 I will just take my time this time. 

Well, I hope you all had a great first day of 2017. This year I hope to be more driven and make things happen (says the girl sitting at her kitchen table in her pajamas and fuzzy socks that she hasn't changed out of since last night).

Please keep praying for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah <3

Thanks


Hi sweet boy!
Happy New Year's Day.
Here I am just trying to do the best I can
and hoping I make you proud.
I love and miss you so much.
Always
<3





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