The morning sunshine was nice and warm as it came through my bedroom window this morning.
I fixed my hair in braided pigtails and put on the bright fuchsia sweatshirt that once belonged to my grandmother. I decided to also put on the colorful necklace Alex had bought me at the fall market with a darling little green butterfly pendant.
I rolled down the windows to my big muddy SUV just slightly and stopped and got a sausage biscuit at a gas station, and then turned on my GPS. I was pretty sure I knew where I was going, but it has been years since I had last visited my destination.
I pulled up and enjoyed the sunshine some more as I waked past the playground equipment. I walked in to the Head Start building, feeling slightly nervous. Breakfast had just ended and there were lines of eager children in the hallway. There were patient teachers losing their patience as the children wiggled and made their way in and out of their spots. The hallways were bright white covered with drawings and happy bulletin boards. Elementary school buildings are always so welcoming.
I read over the storybook I had in my hand. Although I wrote the book, I suddenly found myself doubting if I remembered what I was supposed to say. The night before I had even had a dream that I had forgotten the book at home, and the book we did find to read had pages missing. Luckily, as I thumbed through the book I started to remember the words and I found that all the pages were still intact.
I made my way to the classroom where I then got to read my book to the class. It still feels weird to say that I have written books and have self published them. It is still bizarre to say that I am a children's book author.
"Eli The Crawfish in The Night That The Lights Went Out in Natchitoches," was the book I read.
The kids were so excited that some even wanted me to read it again. Others, however were very honest about not wanting me to read it for a second time. But just as quickly as I had arrived at the precious little school, story time was over.
But before I was to leave, a picture had to be taken. As we got ready for the picture, the little green butterfly dangling from my colorful necklace became an object of interest to many of the small children dancing around me in excitement. Some wanted to touch it. One young boy wanted to make it fly. Small little hands reached to touch mine as I held the green butterfly. I was touching the hands of bright futures. I was touching the hands of hope. I only hope they know the potential those hands hold.
We said "cheese" for a few minutes as pictures from different phones were being taken, and then it was time to go. I wanted to stay all day. I wanted to revert back to my preschooler self and just sit in a circle, sing songs, play and be carefree again. But as I walked down that hallway and went back to my car, I realized something. My life right now, is pretty carefree and I really do love where it is going.
I might not make much writing books and cleaning houses (for now), but the freedom that comes with the life I have chosen lately is an amazing gift that I cherish daily. I hope that I am making a difference and really changing the world. Whatever my impact on this great big amazing world ends up being, I do know that when my time comes to join Elijah I will not have lived a life of regrets. I will have lived a life of kindness, joy, adventure, and inspiration doing the things that I truly love to do. And I will have done countless acts of kindness all in memory of a sweet boy who I love and miss very much.
I hope you guys are having a beautiful day. Sending you lots of peace and sweet dreams tonight. Love you all!
Please continue to pray for our world. Pray for our country. Pray for my family. Pray for me. Pray for you! And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.
Thank you!
Hi sweet boy.
That silly little crawfish inspired by you
made some little boys and girls so happy today.
I like to think that your story
brings some happiness to people
everyday.
I know that I will always be happy to be your mom,
and I will always miss and love you so much.
Good night my boogie.
<3
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