611: Uncharted

It is 6:31pm.

It is Mother's Day and I choose to be lazy because I think I deserve it today...

So today I am going to borrow some song lyrics from one of my favorite musical artist, Sara Barreilles that really have nothing to do with the day we are celebrating lol.

I just think this song speaks volumes about where I am in life right now.

"No words, My tears won't make any room for more,
And it don't hurt like anything I've ever felt before,
this is no broken heart,
No familiar scars,
This territory goes uncharted...

Just me, in a room sunk down in a house in a town, and I
Don't breathe, no I never meant to let it get away from me
Now, I've too much to hold, everybody has to get their hands on gold,
And I want uncharted.
Stuck under the ceiling I made, I can't help but feeling...

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted...

La la la-a-a-a.
Oh-h-h.

Each day, countin' up the minutes, till I get alone, 'cause I can't stay
In the middle of it all, it's nobody's fault, but I'm
So low, never knew how much I didn't know,
Oh, everything is uncharted.
I know I'm getting nowhere, when I only sit and stare like...

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted.

Jump start my kaleidoscope heart,
Love to watch the colors fade,
They may not make sense,
But they sure as hell made me.

I won't go as a passenger, no
Waiting for the road to be laid
Though I may be going down,
I'm taking flame over burning out

Compare where you are to where you want to be, and you'll get nowhere

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started.
Oh-h
I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out, foolproof idea, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted..."


So yeah...that's where I am today lol. 

And here is the video if you want to watch. Her videos are always cute.

Anyways--I talked to my mom on the phone and laughed today.

I thought of Elijah and cried.

I smiled because of Alex, Julien and Gabriel.

I told my husband bye as he drove back to Shreveport to prepare for his fight.

And right now I am drowning myself in music and trying to write a backstory for my novel.

It hasn't been a bad day. It just hurts because I know that it could always be so much better, especially if all my children were here to celebrate with me.

Just missing my Elijah...

Hope you guys are having a gentle loving Mother's Day.

Love you all.

Please pray today for all those who are spending this day in heartbreak. Pray for all the mothers out there-- that we bring a positive change to the world through the love we give our children. Pray that we also teach our children to give this love to others. Please pray for our world. Pray for our country. Pray for me. Pray for you! And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Thank you.

I will always be your mother,

and you will always be my baby.

I love and miss you so much.

Always my boogie.

Always. 

<3