619: Overwhelmed

It is 8:24pm.

I am exhausted...must be a new trend for me.

I have also been stuck inside most of the day because it is raining and I am just overwhelmed with life...in general.

OKay well it is now 9:59pm. I got sidetracked in a million things...and really nothing at all.

I'm just not doing that hot today to be honest.

And please please please say a prayer for all those affected at Ariana Grande's concert tonight.

19 lives were lost (so far).

Not to mention the sheer terror all those who were at the concert experienced.

I am crying just thinking about it.

Thinking about the concert goers and the performers.

Thinking about our world.

Thinking about how yesterday I was terrified about Alex just riding his bike for longer than he was supposed to, and knowing that soon he will want to go to things like concerts and the movies and even though it is not a good chance, there is still a chance I could lose another child to someone's senselessness acts of terror.

I just want to stop thinking...but I can't.

I honestly don't know what to do. For someone who wants to change the world, I feel pretty darn useless right now.

Anyways, sending you lots of love. I think maybe I should just go to bed.

Also, my dad's cousin lost everything to a fire today. He was uninsured. His son has set up a gofundme if you would like to help. Here is the link: https://www.gofundme.com/felix-roge-assistance-fund

There is so much going on in the world that I don't understand.

I really want to make the world a better place for you.

I will find a way.

I promised you I would.

It just probably won't be tonight.

I just miss you a lot right now.

Love you more.

<3