1000(ish) days without Elijah

It is 10:12pm.

Although, I am pretty sure my count is all screwed up now, today I have lived (at least) 1000 days without Elijah. I don't even know how to begin to describe how that feels, but I do know that it means I am 1000 days closer to seeing his sweet face again, and 1000 days closer to holding him in my arms once more.

Today has been so weird. I'm not even sure what to say or where to begin. I could say it was one of the "worst" days I have had in a while, but honestly it wasn't. Lots went wrong, but I am still breathing and cuddled up to some pretty cute kids and one happy dog. I don't know, it just doesn't seem right to complain.

Please pray for Levi, who might have the right to complain right now, because he is throwing up every 5 minutes and all by himself :( These are the days where it is the most hard to be away from him. He needs someone right now, and all I can do is send him love from where I am because we seem to have come into a season of car problems lately.

Also, I lost someone who was very special to me today who was probably one of my biggest fans. She read my blogs, and bought my books, and was there for me many times after Elijah passed away, but I have known her for years. She has brought many smiles to many people and I am so blessed to have her been a part of my life. I am sad knowing I will never read another of her Facebook posts, or read her inspiring words, but I am happy that she is at peace. I love you Delilah and I know that you are probably right at home in Heaven right now. Just make sure you give Elijah some love for me. One day I guess we all be together again.

Blahhhh...

Just please send love. I could use some ;)

Thank you

I don't know how I have survived without you for 1,000 days.

Sometimes I can't believe I got past the first few hours.

It seems like time moves so fast, or it doesn't move fast enough.

It just all seems so strange and sad and unfair.

But I know that I am so thankful that you were here with us while you could be.

And I will always and forever love and miss you.

Please send some love down to your dad.

I hate that he feels so bad and is all alone.

I feel like things are just kind of falling apart all over the place,

and maybe I am missing the lesson..

maybe send some love to me too.

I love and miss you Elijah.

Every single breath. Every second. Always.

<3