999: Reality Check

It is 9:08pm.

Sometimes you just have to show up for yourself and believe that things will happen when they are meant to happen.

You are probably wondering what the heck I am talking about, but this seems to be the life lesson I had to learn this year as things are moving at a snail's pace in most areas of my life.

And I don't want that to sound like I am ungrateful, because I am super thankful right now.

I am thankful for the amazing support we had from wonderful people yesterday for Elijah's birthday. I am so thankful for the $500 we raised and the projector that is going to help with our Elijah's Smiles project. I am thankful to be home in our bus and how nice and clean it was when we came home. I am thankful to be cuddling the cat right now and for Alex's dog Winter and our squirrel. I am thankful for Levi getting to spend time with us this weekend and him getting to go back to the gym and work tomorrow. I am thankful for the cool air coming out of this air conditioning. I am thankful for my nice laptop and internet, so I can do my work. I am thankful for my hopes and dreams. I am thankful that I haven't given up on myself when most people would. I am thankful for the people who haven't given up on me too. I am thankful for family that loves me and helps me out when I need it. I am thankful for my inspiration and support. I am thankful for having the necessities I need to take care of myself and my family. I am thankful for my beautiful children and the joy they have brought into my life. I am thankful for love and all the ways it has touched my life. I am thankful for hope. I am thankful for nature and its stunning beauty. I am thankful for travel and all the sights we have seen and yet to see. I am thankful for every breath I take and every day I live, because I know how lucky I am to have them. I am beyond thankful for the ability and talent to write and make a difference in the world. And I am thankful for the freedom I have to take the breaks I sometimes need to take. I am thankful for all my failures and the lessons they have taught me. And I am thankful for all the things I have done right and all the ways it has brought me joy.

I am thankful.

And I didn't do that just now for a brag session lol, I just really needed a reality check and remind myself that sometimes when the "big things" seem all slow and wonky, it really isn't all that bad--because I have a lot to be extremely thankful for.

I just can't give up.

Sending you all lots of love. Believe in yourself! What are you thankful for? Sometimes it takes writing out a list to remind of us of all the good we have in our lives.

Go change the world. Do it for Elijah.

Thank you.

Oh sweet sweet boy.

I love and miss you so so much.

I haven't seen a heart in a while,

and I worry if it is me that hasn't been looking hard enough.

But maybe you are just out there doing your thing and

 I hope you are free and happy.

Just don't forget to tell me "hello" a little here and there.

I miss you so much. 

I love you Elijah.

Always.

<3