Today was another hard day. Julien got "kicked out" of day camp for hitting and kicking a counselor. This came after a kid threw a water bottle at Julien's face and Julien got angry and made a few poor choices. It is a lesson learned, and I hate that he had to learn it this way--but here we are.
It hurts to see him get kicked out, but I think it hurts a little worse knowing a kid threw a water bottle at his face. I'm not sure what provoked the whole thing, but he came home and said he felt like no one liked him there anyway (except Gabriel).
Levi talked to Gabriel about trying to go to camp alone tomorrow, and he said he would be scared but he would try. I have a feeling we are in for another phone call.
We are supposed to pick up the van tomorrow morning so it makes me super anxious to leave him there, but he says he likes camp and wants to go.
I understand zero tolerance policies are put in place to be protective. But what about all the kids who don't fit the mold. The kids who need extra help dealing with stressful situations, especially in public settings. We keep pushing them out, trying to "teach them a lesson" while instead all we are doing is isolating them more.
I worried about sending the kids to camp because I know they are a bit different, but I never anticipated something like today. I bring the kids to playgrounds often so they can play with other kids. Julien always makes friends easy. I am just having a hard time wrapping my head around all of this.
I'm not condoning Julien hitting or kicking. He made a bad choice. But I do know that pushing him out and away is not going to make him want to try something like this again.
I want to start a camp one day as part of my Elijah S.M.I.L.E.S. project for the kids that don't "fit in" and need the extra attention. A camp that teaches kids to make better choices, and actively promotes mental health. A camp that has real counselors on hand to help in situations like these. One day it will happen.
Right now, I am just trying to make it through what is left of today.
Sending you all lots of love. Whatever you are going through.
Don't forget to change the world for Elijah.
Thank you.
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