Today the kids went to their friend's birthday party, and aside from Gabriel having a little bit of a breakdown, they had a really good time.
Gabriel can sometimes get overwhelmed when things change suddenly or he doesn't understand what is going on, and early on in the bowling game there were some problems with the lane we were using so we had to switch lane. He thought he wasn't going to get a turn, so he was really hurt. Then when it was his time to go, he didn't know what to do and wouldn't let me show him. He was overwhelmed and ran off from me to hide.
I guess I got overwhelmed too, because I left the party to take him home. We got home and talked and Levi reminded him to use his words. After talking, we decided to go back to the party just to eat cake and try and have some fun. Luckily the kids were still bowling and Gabriel still got all his turns! He even won the whole game. That really made his day.
I know all of this sounds really silly and maybe like he overacted a bit, but he has anxiety and is overcoming trauma. I am really hoping his new therapist will help him learn to fight through these fears, because I know how tough life can be sometimes and it scares me to think of him growing up and going out into the real world where things change suddenly all day every day.
But I am proud of him for going back to the party, and I am so thankful for Levi who really calmed both of us down today. Gabriel's overwhelming responses to stress sometimes overwhelm me.
I am also thankful for this beautiful group of people who have shown so much love and grace for my children. It is a nice feeling to know that they can truly be themselves and still be accepted by others.
Tonight I finished a first draft of a rewrite to this year's Eli the Crawfish book. I am still not sure what to name it yet lol, or how to illustrate it and I am sooo far behind, but I am excited because I think it is a really good story--and that is the most important part to writing a book.
I don't know if I will have books on hand to sell this year at shops. I love supporting local businesses and having my books in their shops, but I don't make much of a return on it, and sometimes it feels like after all the shipping and tax and gas used to drive all over town, I am losing money. So I might just do Farmer's Market and set up a webpage and spend a little bit of money on advertising. I can also add my art work to the webpage and sell all of my work together in one place.
But first, I have to finish the book lol.
Alright sending you guys all lots of love. Hope you have a beautiful evening.
Go change the world. Do it for Elijah.
Thank you.
Oh sweet boy.
Today Alex showed me that he added a sunflower to his little race-car
in a video game your brothers are playing.
It always touches my heart when they remember you in such sweet ways.
We all love and miss you so much.
Always.
<3
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