Julien is asleep next to me. Gabe is still up watching youtube videos ( I know I know) and I'm pretty sure Alex is asleep. Levi just got back from the gym and I am blogging and missing Elijah.
We keep busy. Busy helps as I have mentioned before.
Today I found out that I might be going back to work as soon as this Sunday.
I'm nervous.
Elijah, missing you and trying to keep your name alive is the most important thing to me right now other than your dad and brothers.
I'm scared I'm not going to have the time I need.
I'm scared I'll have to let go of the time we have together right now.
I'm scared reality is going to awaken some dark places I haven't been yet.
But I will be strong and try.
That's all I can do.
I am honored to be going to Guest Relations again and know that there I can help people.
One day at a time.
I love you so so much and I'm sorry I can't hold you. I will always keep you in my heart. You will always be my baby. One day we will be together again. I promise you <3
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