I am working on my yoga certification....well sort of. I am listening to a "lecture" and taking a break from studying anatomy. I have a lot to learn so I can get my certification before January 7th lol. It is going to take a lot of work. Luckily I am done with Christmas ornaments, and shopping lol. I need a phone plan though, because soon we will be going to granny's and I really need to be able to watch these videos while practicing routines and asanas.... maybe I should just breathe....
I will be teaching Hatha yoga and yoga nidra at Warehouse Fitness starting in January. Right now I am figuring out my schedule, but it looks like it is going to be Tuesday& Thursdays at 4:30-5:30 and Saturday mornings from 8am-9am. $10 per drop in. Now to figure out how to get the yoga mats and bricks I need, oh and insurance...I'm certain it will all come together.
Levi is shopping right now for gloves and pads for his classes. Things are going to be tight until both of our classes pick up or I start finding more ways to sell my art. So send love, or money. I am accepting both at this time ;)
Oh, the dream I was going to write about the other day...
So I dreamed that Elijah was riding in the car with me. I guess I had kept his body some how because I knew that he was dead. This must have been shortly after he passed, and I felt how cold he was. Anyways, somehow I brought him back to life...but only shortly. I remember how excited I was though. My breath worked! It actually worked. And I could see him so clearly. I saw him breathe. I saw his eyes look at me and him smile. I saw him move! This was the first time in a while, or maybe ever, that I could see his face so vividly.
But then, just like a balloon, the air left him...and he left us again :(
And just like a kick in the gut, I woke up to find I had started my period and somehow I felt guilty for pms'ing. Like maybe he was coming back to me, but my body rejected it. I know, I know...it sounds so stupid...but this is my grief. This is the crap that runs through my head. This is my living Hell sometimes.
I don't see him much in my dreams anymore, and when it happens it is always bittersweet. My whole life is bittersweet. It is like always being thankful because you know the true value in a life, but at the same time always having someone stepping on your chest and whispering crazy thoughts into your ears...
BLAH.
Well anyways, today was better. Our dog Winter came home from getting "fixed" and getting her yearly shots. She is resting. Alex and I did manage to go to Walmart and get a few things. And I just finished up the video training part of my yoga certification!
Tomorrow we have to clean up a room at my dad's house and I have to wrap presents, and go to the gym.
I am okay. I just miss Elijah a lot. That will never really change. Some days are just harder.
Sending you all lots of love.
Go change the world. Do it for Elijah.
Sometimes it is hard to breathe without you...
but I do it anyways.
I love and miss you so much.
Always.
<3
No comments:
Post a Comment