I would give anything to just have the hard life I thought I had before Elijah passed away.
Now I get so angry when people whine or complain about insignificant things. I just wish people would see how much they have to be thankful for.
Blahhhh.
And now here I am about to complain...
My phone broke today.
Luckily I has already backed up all the photos of Elijah and most of the other pics I had.
But I had to buy a New phone, and with me taking off work, I hate to have to spend money on things like this. It just makes me sick to my stomach.
Its not just the phone situation, a lot of things keep piling up and I don't talk about all of them. Just know it's really hard right now and my anxiety is through the roof.
It has just been an emotional day.
But he is home with us now. We have his ashes and he is with us.
In all the anger and frustration of the day I still managed to place an inspiration card on a windshield as my act of kindness for Elijah.
This is the photo I chose as my backdrop on my phone. I love his little smirk.
Oh Elijah. I'm glad you are home with us but I would have loved for you to have never left. Your mom is having a hard day and needs your love.
I miss you and love you more than you will ever know.
I'm sorry you have to deal with aggravation of things like a broken phone when you are coping with an immeasurable tragedy. Things like bills and broken phones and errands can be really taxing on a person who has such a huge emotional and psychological pain to deal with. I'm glad having his ashes brings you some comfort. I know his loving energy is always with you. You are a brave woman kelly. Prayers and love to you - shawna
ReplyDeleteOur prayers for you and your family go Heavenward every day.
ReplyDeleteI know anxiety well, as I am being treated for it and depression. I also know how easy it is to NOT talk about every little thing that builds up the anxiety. And you don't have to talk about it, at least not right away. Right now, you're in survival mode and just need to focus on getting through each day...even each moment. I hope blogging is helpful to you, because it certainly seems like it is. If anything, it helps us to pray for you in a more specific way.
Don't hold back, don't worry about "complaining." Just do what you need to do to survive.
I'm praying for God to give you that peace that passes all understanding, and an extra special blessing of grace for ever more.