Today has just been a crappy day. From start to finish.
I guess I somehow brought it upon myself...
I don't know anymore.
I am just tired and haven't felt great since this morning.
My anxiety is awful today and I can't even make simple decisions like where I wanted to eat this evening without causing a catastrophe for me and everyone involved.
On days like this, the simplest things can turn me into a horrible mess of emotions...
I just want to be able to function...I can't even function...I hate this day and I hate myself for hating it, because I am so lucky to have it.
I need a punching bag.
I need my son back.
This sucks.
Oh Elijah,
I am such a mess today.
I don't know what to do.
It is just a bad day I guess.
But I don't know how anyday is supposed to be a good day without you.
It is not fair.
I have to keep going but I don't know what to do some days when people can talk so ugly about babies and children and think nothing of it when I would give ANYTHING to have my baby back.
They don't know how lucky I was to have you and how wonderful you made life.
I know I shouldn't take anything personal, but it is so hard not to when I feel like a huge part of me is gone and my heart has just been left out to bleed.
I love and miss you my boogie.
Nothing will ever change that.
<3
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