Today is thanksgiving.
I have held it together all morning until I sat down to eat.
All I can think about is the baby that is supposed to be sitting next to me having his first taste of corn and pumpkin pie. He is supposed to be making silly faces and making us all laugh. He is supposed to be here.
If today is bad, I can't imagine Christmas.
My heart is breaking and all people can do is tell me that I will get through this. That they don't want me to hurt. Well today....I want to hurt.
I don't want to hurt myself or harm myself, so chill out.
I just think that the pain is well deserved.
While thousands of people are gathered around their families and being thankful for their beautiful babies...I am left with the very painful reminder that mine is gone.
And I miss him so so much.
It is not fair.
I don't care if it doesn't change anything for me to say that...but its not.
I miss you so much.
I am thankful you were mine.
I love you Elijah
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