I wrote Elijah a letter today and put in his card.
Last Christmas I announced his pregnancy to my family...
This year we are missing him in so many ways you cannot imagine.
But we have survived because we had family members who loved us and loved Elijah enough to include him in Christmas even when he wasn't physically with us.
Remembrance is the best gift I could ask for right now.
So thank you to those of you who took the time to check in on me today. Thank you to those of you who acknowledged my hurt. Thank you especially to those of you who acknowledged Elijah.
You were small in numbers but your kind words helped me so much today.
I am wishing you and your family peace and love...and the best Christmas you can have.
Remember the reason we have this special day and be sure to continue to spread love through the remainder of the year.
Elijah, being your mom was the best gift I could ever have.
Of course I wish you were still with me,
But I feel your love and peace daily, just as much as I feel the hurt of not holding you.
It is a weird journey, grief.
Oh but I will never stop loving you or stop being your mom.
I love you my boogie.
Merry Christmas
<3
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