I asked for it to get better...I asked for it to stop...and here I am one day later drowning in my tears.
I hate bad days. I hate bad nights. I hate the way I feel right now.
I hate that I left Elijah that day.
I hate It all.
I am having such a horrible evening...and no I don't want to talk about it.
I just want to state at my Elijah's face and ask for you to pray for me....because I need your prayers right now.
I am not suicidal. Please don't freak out on me. I just really need prayers.
Elijah I am so sorry. I hate being this way. I hate missing you. Look at how beautiful you are. I was so lucky to have you and hold you and now.I am just this big mess who missed you so much. I am trying so very hard to do great things in your memory. You are so important to me. Please know that. I worked so hard all day on our studio and I wish I could say I was proud of it. I wish I could say I didn't have my doubts. I wish I could say I feel good about it....but right now, all I can find the strength to do is sit here and cry....
God I miss you so much.
Shine down on me boogie. I need you right now.
I love you Elijah.
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