#getkellyonellen

It is 10:21pm.

Okay...Today was a roller coaster of emotions...but at the end of it all I fought it like hell and I am sitting here now kind of calm and a little less crazy than I was this morning.

Before we really get into my life, and my new idea, I want to ask you to pray for a couple of friends of mine. Both going through some really hard stuff right now. I wish I could do so much more for both of them, so because I can only do so much...will you please just lift them up in prayer and/or send some good vibes their way? God knows who and what I am talking about.

Thanks guys.

You are the best.

Okay. So yesterday I mentioned that I wanted to be on the Ellen show...and I totally meant it.

So I have asked that my friends and family try their best to fill out the form on the link I am about to share, and just give your best reasons as to why you think I am deserving or what not:

http://www.ellentv.com/be-on-the-show/433/

But honestly, don't make it too much about me, because it really isn't. I want this to be about Elijah. I want this to be about our art therapy studio and what we want to do to help other bereaved parents. I want it to be about my voice representing the child loss community and offering hope and healing to others...

If you need info to fill out the form, here it is:

Kelly Airhart
loveelijah0605@gmail.com
503 West Colonial Dr Suite 4 Orlando, Fl 32804
318-498-2593

Thank you so much for your support.

I have friends and family who are going to submit every week until something happens, but I think if each one of you reading this just submitted once, maybe they would consider it!!!

#getkellyonellen

Please and thank you <3

Woosahhhh....

Now on to the hard part of the day...the anxiety.

It is crazy how much anxiety can cause you to be....well... crazy.

I know that I have had issues with anxiety a good deal of my life, but since losing Elijah, there are some very real and very hard moments where it just paralyzes me and...I just can't even--

I'm trying to make light of this, because that is one thing I learned from my mom: to laugh at the hard times because it makes it easier...but anxiety is no joke.

I can't breathe right, my chest hurts, and I get this feeling of doom that just sweeps over me and crawls into my skin and my brain...and I don't even know how to really put all of that in words...

I have learned, for me, getting outside helps a lot.

I like to walk it off. Today I tried to throw some jogging in there. WRITING also helps a lot...

I'm curious as to what you guys do when anxiety attacks?

Oh sweet sweet boy...I look at this picture and I just want to go back. Everything about you was so perfect. Summer is approaching and it is going to be so hard. Everything is so different. Your birthday is creeping up on me and I haven't planned anything, because I can't even imagine how much my heart is going to hurt that day. But we will celebrate you, I promise...even through the tears, I will celebrate you...you are so special and important to me and your dad and brothers. <3 We all miss you a lot.

Good night my boogie.