I survived a 3 day purging of tons and tons of STUFF that has been sitting in storage now for almost 2 years.
I feel like I was just on an episode of Hoarders.
I feel like I earned a t-shirt or a cheesy magnet or something.
I feel like I deserve a cookie and a Dr. Pepper.
Day one was just exhausting. I basically pulled everything out of our back room in the studio and dragged it out in the "open" space we have...It looked like a tornado came through here....
Day Two was probably the most emotional. I found Elijah's things and I cried over them.
I found his little hospital hat and it about killed me.
I packed up toys and clothes that the kids haven't been able to use in all this time because we have been moving in and out of hotel rooms and haven't had room for it, and it just broke me.
It broke me because I feel like in many ways I have failed them.
We don't have a home. We don't have a yard. They really don't have to many nice things...
But today, as I am typing this, I am wondering if I have really failed them at all?
People always say that your kids come first, and I swear to you that mine do...just in the more nonconventional way I guess.
I haven't provided them with a steady home, or all the coolest toys and clothing.
But what I hope they see from me is that following their dreams is not easy, but you push through it because it all be worth it some day. (God I hope so anyways...)
And maybe this purge was all worth it. Maybe now, we can focus less on the material things, and more on the things we are so lucky to have--like each other.
Anyways, Day Three was exhausting. My body was tired, I was tired. I felt like I was never going to finish cleaning up the mess. I couldn't see how we were going to make it through this summer since my idea for a summer art camp fell through. I was so overwhelmed and frustrated with everything, and the kids were sick and cranky--so I went for a walk.
And on my walk, I found a spot by the water and I sat and I cried, and I prayed and pleaded with God to just tell me what to do...
And in my head, I heard "get some rest...the answers will come to you."
Now, I don't know how all of this works, if that was God talking, or my body just begging me to go to sleep already, but I listened, and I went and took a 2 hour nap.
And later, as I was mopping the floor, it just kind of popped in my head that maybe this summer, I should only be open on the weekends. And that on the other days, I should focus on my youtube channel, and my blog, and just getting the word out there. And somehow I guess it is all supposed to fall together--so that is what I have decided to do.
And you know what? I feel like a huge weight has been lifted--for now anyways.
Maybe I will be able to spend more time figuring this thing out this summer while giving my kids some sort of summer break...
We will have our grand opening in August and it will be wonderful. I am going to keep the faith somehow..
Anyways, here is just some of what we got rid of on our 3 day purge...and there was so much more that I didn't take photos of.
It has been a Hellish 3 days, but I am glad that we did it, and I'm even more glad that they are over.
Today I was able to catch up on etsy orders, and other things I needed to catch up on, and it felt really great.
Now it is time to go get Alex ready for MMA class. (The other 2 are still snotty and gross, so I can't take them just yet)...
Please keep praying for me and my family. Keep praying for The Love, Elijah Project and our Art Therapy Studio...And always always, pray for my Elijah.
Oh sweet boy, looking at this picture makes me giggle a little. Look at all that wonder in your eyes. This was around the time we were trying to get you to smile for that first time.
Gosh I miss you so much.
More than words could ever say.
We got rid of a lot of stuff this week,
but I am never ever getting rid of your stuff.
Never.
I love you my boogie.
Always
<3
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