"Get Over It"

It is 8:23pm

There is a storm outside and the thunder is roaring in the sky.

Today was better than yesterday.

It is amazing how much one single day and a nasty piece of paper can knock you on your butt.

This morning I woke up to a staggering amount of people who read last night's blog (something over 600), and a few of them managed to leave some comforting words on my Facebook wall.

One lady was trying to be nice but her comment literally uttered the words, "get over it."

Of course, I think she meant "move forward" and don't let the death certificate destroy me, but I think her words really lit a fire under my feet.

I responded quite cordially, and I didn't mean to make her feel bad, but I did suggest that if you are trying to offer advice to a parent who has lost a child, please think twice before using such harsh wording. Not everyone will take it so well.

I would share our exact exchange, but it looks like the comment has been removed.

But as awful as it was to read, I am thankful for her unthoughtful comment because it got me up and moving today. That fire under my feet was much needed.

Today Alex and I attempted another hike for Elijah, but the hiking path we chose was horrible, it was hot, there was no shade, I scraped my leg, and we just decided that we will just try again another day.

We did stay positive and laugh about it; It was just not the day for a hike.

I did, however, manage to get a few nice photos.

This sand was brutal. It was so hard to walk through.

If you look closely at the picture above, you can see a tiny frog.

I totally did not see this heart on this log until I was just going through my pictures. 

I was trying to take a picture of the sap. 

Hi Elijah <3 I see you!

My scrape.

Alex being goofy. He is at the top of some hill of shell and rocks.

I felt like getting outside would be good for me, but it only kind of made the adventurous side of me long for more adventure.

I was reading something this morning about a family that walked from coast to coast, and I have seen a few other stories about people who have walked from Mexico to Canada for different reasons.

It is really inspiring to see these people do something extraordinary with their lives;  But the inspiration just majorly adds to the restlessness and the feeling that I might be "called" to do something big involving travel.

While we were attempting to hike I thought of this "genius" idea.

I though that maybe my family could walk from coast to coast to raise money for us to buy a home.

It would take about 2 months to complete the trip.

We would call it "walking home" and I could add the experience to the book I am writing.

Beside it sounding completely selfish-- which I kind of feel like it does, to ask for that kind of help--I polled my family and no one seemed quite as thrilled as me about the idea.

Alex was probably most agreeable...looking at it from the point of view that not too many people do things like this with their lives.

I love that Alex doesn't think I am crazy yet lol.

I almost got Gabriel to agree when I told him I have tickets to Disney Land that we could use, until he realized he would have to walk to get there.

I don't know that I ever got Julien to agree with me or not...there was a lot of talking going on.

And of course Levi said he would, but our biggest concern would be it interfering with his MMA training, and I have already done enough of that.

I am very guilty of kind of pushing him into all my crazy situations, so I have to kind of tame my wild heart this time and let him get to where he needs to be...

Oh wild heart...tame your self.

We will find other adventures and ways to get us out of this mess...I promise.

For the moment, I will just get my thrills from watching The Amazing Race.

I guess it will all come together at some point, right?

Until then, just keep praying.

Pray for my family. Pray for my crazy wild heart. Pray for Levi and the MMA career he has ahead of him. And always always, pray for my sweet Elijah.

Hi sweet boy.

Look at that sweet smile.

Oh I miss you so.

I haven't forgot about my promise to you.

I haven't forgotten about The Love, Elijah Project.

We will get it all figured out.

I feel like I need to figure out how to get your family to steady ground, 

and maybe once we are there I will be able to do these other things for you with great grace.

Just keep shining down on us boogie!

Thank you for the heart today. I love it.

I love you so so so so so so so much.

<3