No Time is A Good Time for Goodbye (Sarah)

It is 9:58pm.

Today I found out one of my childhood best friends passed away.

Her name was Sarah and we met in the first grade.

I remember the first thing I noticed about her was her red hair. It was like fire!

I wish I had a picture of us together as a kid.  I'm sure we were quite the pair. Lol.

Sarah and I made friends and she joined my mom's girlscout troop.

I remember driving about 45 minutes to her house for sleep overs and I would get scared and call my parents and tell them to come get me.

My parents would then wait about 30 minutes, call Sarah's parents to see if I had fallen asleep before they made that drive to come get me...and usually I had.

The last time I remember spending the night at Sarah's, I was in either the seventh or eighth grade and it was for her birthday.

We had a pretend beauty pageant, and we watched Grease, and lip-sang to Elvis.

I always would think of Sarah when I saw anything Elvis related, but over the years life happened and we kind of drifted apart.

I saw her once in twice in college, and I often saw her mom and would talk to her.

Sarah was one of those people that had a laugh that could light up the room.

She was always upbeat and happy from what I remember.

Always smiling.

It really sucks.

It sucks because just moments before finding out about her death, I had just read an article about someone else's life being saved by a miracle.

And it just makes me wonder (again), why some people's lives were saved by these "miracles" and other people aren't.

I'm just a little bitter, I guess, after seeing many good people I know lose their lives.

But it is over my head, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I just have to try to keep faith and hope that I will see them again one day.

Sarah, until I see you again, I hope you teach Elijah a few good Elvis tunes. Alex is a big fan of Elvis too. You should be proud <3

You will be missed by many--no doubt.

Love ya girl.

(This is one of the songs I remember us being silly and singing at Sarah's birthday party)

Today I also did some more research on walking across America. 

This is definitely not something we can just jump into.

It would take months of training and planning....and lots of walking.

So today, I decided I would at least start the walking part of the preparation. 

I walked with Gabriel (in a stroller) for an hour this morning and again for 57 minutes his evening. 

The evening walk was a lot nicer since it was not 100 degrees outside.

I walked 5.14 miles in total today.

So if we go the rate I was going today, and calculated in stops for things like eating and resting, we would probably only travel about  30- 45 miles a day. And that is if we don't have face any problems.

I don't know if this will lead to anything, but I will continue to walk and see how I feel about it. I'm mostly worried if that we do actually find the time to do this, that the kids are going to be bored out of their mind...lol. 

Tomorrow is my appointment to talk to someone about my possible ptsd. I feel confident that she will show up, and that everything will be okay, but I am still nervous.

Just say some prayers.

Pray for Sarah and her family. Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Oh sweet Elijah.

Tell my friend Sarah hello.

I guess one day I will have some sort of clarity.

One day I will  have answers.

Until then I will never ever understand why God spares some and not others.

Get Sarah to play you some Elvis...

I will always hold the both of you in my heart.

I love you my boogie.

Miss you so much. 

<3