Another 10th

It is 3:24pm.

I am sitting here with Levi listening to the boys play and the rain fall.

Trying not to fall asleep.

I have so much to do today.

I am purposefully trying to stay busy as today is another 10th.

Another month of missing Elijah.

And next month marks one year since I have held him in my arms.

I miss him so much.

You can go to all the counseling in the world, and hand it all over to God, but nothing will ever make you stop missing your child.

He will always be my Elijah, and I will always know that he is not here.

Like I said, I am trying to stay busy today.

I did my 2 hour walk this morning, I homeschooled with the kids, and I sent off some paper work and took my next steps on the Order Up Application Process.

I was going to step outside to Vlog for The Love, Elijah Project but it is raining so that may have to wait.

And I also really need to start writing this piece I am contributing to the book that I was asked to write for.

And I still have one more hour to walk later this evening.

Busy.

Busy.

Busy.

But I can't stop thinking about him.

Please pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always, pray for my sweet Elijah.

I remember this next set of pictures.

You were sitting in your little bouncer by the wall in the little kitchen area. 

The walls were yellow. 

And for a brief moment most everything was right in the world. 

Julien had just dumped the Elefun The Elephant butterflies all over you to try and make you smile.

I miss your smile so much.

And I miss you.

I just miss you.

I love you so so much.

<3