Nap

It is 1:49pm.

Another day of this unexplained exhaustion...

Right now I am watching some Amazing Race while I blog and debating a nap.

I need to catch up on my Love, Elijah blog--but tonight I have to work my first shift for Order Up, so I might need a nap to help me stake awake and focused as I kind this delivery thing all figured out.

I don't know.

Anyways, today Alex had a French lesson and it seemed to go really well.

And next month he starts Japanese class, and soon he will bilingual ;)

Even though I am still kind of a total mess, and have no idea what we are doing, it has been so rewarding to see the kids learn new things right before my eyes and have such wonderful opportunities.

Yesterday I watched this little video on people living in their vans, and revisited my dreams of having a mini van tiny house again.

Maybe with all this work I am doing, we can look for one again. lol.

Who knows...

Maybe we will raise enough money from my walk to do it.

I just want to get rid of the stress of money.

I have had enough stress for a lifetime just in the last year. I don't want anymore.

I just want to live my life to the fullest, honor Elijah, and teach my kids that there is no "one way" that you have to live your life.

Alright, I think I have decided to take a nap after all lol.

Wish me luck on my first day "on the job!"

And keep praying.

Pray for our world. Pray for Louisiana. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always, pray for my sweet Elijah.

This is the last picture I ever took of you.

And to me, you look like a little angel.

Like it is blurred just enough to make you look like you are glowing.

Your eyes are as bright as ever,

and you are just perfect.

PERFECT.

I miss you so so much.

I am still working on changing the world for you.

One day at a time.

One act of kindness at a time.

I just wish I could do better.

<3