Clearly I have not been doing too well with following my 8pm screen shut off time.
And these last few days I have been slipping on my evening walk.
I am just all over the place.
Today was such a random day.
Levi, Alex and I played mechanics as we fought to get the radiator cap off and put antifreeze directly into the radiator because I don't know how many oil changes or miles ago we actually had antifreeze added to our car and it was overheating (p.s. I just got an oil change Saturday evening).
But thankfully, that seemed to have solved the problem (so far).
And then I have just been drained all day today--like super tired.
I had to take a nap this afternoon before heading back downtown to pick up my Order Up gear, which by the way I start driving for tomorrow (eek!).
And then after the Order Up meet, I had to head to Wal-Mart and I ended up seeing these two guys at a peanuts and roses roadside stand who had clearly ran out of gas, and ended up making a u-turn to help them as my act of kindness in memory of Elijah. And I am so glad I did.
Here is that story
The next week or so is going to be crazy busy with work and the kids and everything else, and I have to remind myself that it is okay to be a little behind on a few things here and there--like my Love, Elijah blog which I was totally going to post today...
I just have to keep making my daily checklist and try my best to stay on top of it.
Things will get done. I just can't give up on them. I have to figure out a new schedule now, that's all.
It is a good thing I am busy. Right?
Anyways, continue to say some prayers for my family and friends in Louisiana as they are starting to get back into their homes and really take a look at all the damage that this flood has caused.
Right now, there is a telathon going on by the Redcross to raise the 30 MILLION Dollars it is going to take to help rebuild the areas affected by the flood.
The phone number is 954-720-4011.
Louisiana is my home state. Baton Rouge is the city Elijah was born in and it is also the home to many of my family members and friends.
Please help if you can.
As September is sneaking up on me, I am trying to think of ways to remember Elijah on his "angelversary." Although I will be surprised if I can even pull myself out of bed that day. Maybe we will just ask people to light candles or something...but nothing really feels like enough to me.
It's rough...so rough.
Anyways, I really need to wrap this up and get a few other things done before I go to bed. I will sleep better with the more items I check off my list ;)
Good night guys. Keep praying. Pray for our world. Pray for Louisiana. Pray for my family. And always always, pray for my sweet Elijah. <3
Thank you.
Oh Elijah.
I am so befuddled by this anniversary of your death.
I have to recognize it, because it is the last day I ever held you. It was the last day we spent anytime together. It was your last day on earth.
I know that it was your first day in Heaven, and while I know you are at great peace and in endless joy, I am still not ready to celebrate the distance just yet.
So what do we do?
More kindness? I won't even be able to get out of bed. Your birthday crushed me.
Light candles? It doesn't seem like enough.
I don't know.
I just don't know.
I would give anything for September 10th to just be another day...
Another day of me holding my sweet boy.
I love and miss you so much.
<3
No comments:
Post a Comment