I am sitting in the bookstore waiting for Alex to get out of his MMA classes and I was going to write on my novel, but I kind of wanted to blog before I dig into that because I am distracted.
I am distracted by the second set of nasty texts we have gotten in two days.
Even though I am very frustrated that this person will not tell me who they are, I will not be blasting their number or these texts on my blog of Facebook page....yet (nor probably ever, because I can not find the "right" reason to that, other than ones driven by revenge or spite and I am not sinking to that level).
Apparently whoever this is didn't mean to hurt my feelings by their strong words, but they REALLY disagree with the way my husband and I are raising our children and the fact that we are struggling with our housing situation.
Well, dear sweet person that has so many concerns for my family, I promise you that I would much rather be in a house somewhere with ALL of my children, and I would have rather spent this past year working instead of dealing with grief and post traumatic stress. I would have rather have been the best mother in the world, rather than the best mom I could be. I would rather my children not having to share the hashtag #elijahsfamily or #elijahsbrother on their photos because Elijah would be here physically and we could just add him in the pictures with them. And I would rather have had to not sit in my bathtub crying over your strong concerns today and how bluntly you put the way you think that my life should be.
My children are loved. My children are individuals and we treat them as such. My children are studying economics and are working on running their own business. My children are not being taught to sit on their butts and ask people for money. My children are learning that when you have a dream, you chase it and they are learning that when you do this you might face heartaches and failures, and then when you do you press on. My children are being taught to think outside the box.
I'm sorry if it scares you and I am sorry that you want them to be normal because you are going to be sadly disappointed when I tell you they will never be normal because they are friggen special and their parents are teaching them that it is okay to not be normal.
Please do not let MY life bother you so much. Just be thankful to have yours and go live it. Go work at your job and pay your bills and be normal, and let me figure out mine.
And if my life bothered you this much, why did you not unfriend me (or my husband) before we had the chance to unfriend you?
I wish you a beautiful and happy life without us. I will admit that you broke me for a moment today, but I decided to shake it off and let you be the match I needed to light my fire so that I can shine even brighter. So, boom.
For real people...I am doing the best I can, and that is all I can do.
Thank you for continued prayers. Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.
Oh sweet boy.
Oh my sunflower.
What I would give to hold you on my chest like this
and listen to your sweet breath.
You will always be my baby
and I will continue to do great things for you
doing it the best I can.
I miss you always,
I love you more
<3
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