368: Woosah...

It is 10:50pm.

I just realized that last year was a leap year so today it has actually been 368 days since I last held Elijah.

WOOOOOSSSSAAAAHHHHHH.

Oh believe me I could write a novel for you tonight about the crazy things that happened today.

But for my peace of mind, I am going to let it go.

Please just know that I love each of my children and they all know that they are special to me, I am working as hard as I can at life, I have a job, my husband is amazing, and we are extremely grateful for the people who have stepped in and carried us over these last few days.

Does it still hurt? Absolutely.

Am I still angry? Meh. It is part of grief. And I have to stand up for myself every now and again.

Will every one understand what I am going through? I hope not, for their sake.

Do we wish anyone ill will? NO. Absolutely not. I hope each person that has played some sort of role in our lives happiness and many blessings. 100% mean that. Sometimes you just have to do what is right at the moment for your peace of mind.

To quote Forest Gump, "And that's all I have to say about that."

Please continue to pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Hi sweet boy.

You are a part of this family and I will always include you.

I love your brothers just the same.

They talk about you and love and miss you.

You are very loved.

So so loved.

<3