It Feels Like Yesterday

It is 9:41pm

I just got back from Alex's MMA classes.

Today the kids and I started doing some gratitude journaling together in our school work. It seemed to take forever to get through it though because I had to stop and fix simple mistakes every few minutes.

I hate that they went to a really expensive private school last year and I feel like Alex has not gotten any better in writing, and Julien knows very little about sentence structure or proper nouns and capitalization.

I never saw their assignments over the year, but was so distracted by my grief that I guess I didn't notice. I was just barely hanging on.

But now I have them here, and I really LOVE being a part of this experience--even when it is frustrating lol. And I AM happy that we are trying to be more positive lol.

This day last year, Levi and I had to go to the funeral home and sign paper work. It was so hard, because that made it so real.

I have been reading my blogs from last year, and I am so thankful that I wrote everyday because I can really see how my grief has changed. There are still a lot of similarities, but I think once I start really actively compiling my 365 day companion book it will be extremely helpful to go back and see what I needed day by day.

Hopefully some how, it will (or has) helped someone other than me. But I feel like it has really kept Elijah's story alive and has helped me in releasing such strong and demanding emotions.

Last year on this day I also talked about being physically sick. I was nauseous and very angry.

This year, I am still dealing with stomach issues due to stress and unhealthy eating habits.

Anyways, I believe tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the very first act of kindness that I did in memory of Elijah. (there were many acts of kindness done by others before this)

And then in about a month or so I think it will be the 365th day of me doing one act of kindness consecutively every day.

But it all still feels like everything happened yesterday.

Blah....

Today I worked on some more illustrations for my Christmas Children's book.

I think it is going to be super cute and I am really excited about it.

I haven't stopped working on my other books, I just want to try to get a few christmas books out there because seasonal books might be easier to sell and that could help our income.

Nothing else too exciting happened today. Thank God.

Thank you for all of you have been really kind and supportive over these last few days. You are my super heroes. <3 Love you all.

Please keep praying. Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Look at that squishy face.

I love you so much.

I miss you all the time.

But we honor you in everything we do,

because you are just as important as your brothers.

You will not be forgotten my boogie.

I love you I love you I love you.

<3