One Year.

It is 12:01am.

It has been  365 days now that we have had to live without our son Elijah.

We asked friends and family to write his name today, and I am very thankful to the ones who came through or offered us kind words and prayers.... For those who didn't say or do anything...it was noticed. But I will leave that rant for another day...today is about Elijah.

Today we ate Sweet and Sour Chicken, pear cobbler and ice cream. These were all symbolic of the little foods we snuck tastes of to Elijah.

After we ate, we drove to Clearwater Beach to watch the sunset.

Watching the sunset on the beach was something I have always wanted to do, and I had actually visited Clear Water beach very early in my pregnancy with Elijah.

We waited in the water for the sun to start to set. Levi pointed out a huge heart shaped cloud in the sky.

Then Levi drew Elijah's name in the sand and we all filled the lines with seashells.

After the sun went down, we saw some fireworks off in the distance and we released sunflowers out into the ocean under the stars.

I wish I could tell you that I felt like we accomplished something today, but honestly today is just another small stepping stone in a lifetime spent without our son.

This year has taught me a lot and Elijah has given me many gifts and treasures that I am so thankful for, and I will continue to honor him in everything I do, but I will never stop missing him.

Well, I think I am about to make myself a pan of cinnamon rolls and write some on my book.

Please keep praying. Pray for our world. Pray for my family. And always always, pray for my sweet Elijah.

Elijah, if I could have flown around the world and written your name on every continent, every country and on every street in every city I would have.

I would scream your name from every mountain top.

I would carve your name in every rock.

If it helps people remember you, 

I would do it all.

We did all that we could do today,

and please know that even when others start to forget about your sweet little life,

your family will never forget you.

You are with us in everything we do.

These past 365 days have been the hardest I have ever lived through, 

and tomorrow is day 1 of another 365.

Stay close my boogie.

I need you now more than ever.

I love you so much.

<3