We are less than one week away from the crappiest anniversary that could ever exist, and if I hadn't been so busy today, I think I would have felt a lot worse. But I really didn't give myself time to feel anything.
Even in my still moments, I tried to write or find something to do.
Writing my story helps me feel better because I can give the Kelly in the story things that the real life me doesn't have. And I can give life to Elijah through my words...but it is still fiction and reality still kind of blows.
I don't know.
I honestly just don't know what to say right now.
I want to just stay in my imaginary world I have created, and leave this one unattended for a while.
But right now my reality is that just got back from working most of the night in the rain, and my feet are gross and I need a bath.
Just keep praying. Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.
I'm so sorry Elijah.
I wish we could be together.
I wish I didn't have to dread September 10th.
I just wish you were here.
I love you my boogie.
<3
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