Sunday, September 4, 2016

Reality

It is 10:38pm.

We are less than one week away from the crappiest anniversary that could ever exist, and if I hadn't been so busy today, I think I would have felt a lot worse. But I really didn't give myself time to feel anything.

Even in my still moments, I tried to write or find something to do.

Writing my story helps me feel better because I can give the Kelly in the story things that the real life me doesn't have. And I can give life to Elijah through my words...but it is still fiction and reality still kind of blows.

I don't know.

I honestly just don't know what to say right now.

I want to just stay in my imaginary world I have created, and leave this one unattended for a while.

But right now my reality is that just got back from working most of the night in the rain, and my feet are gross and I need a bath.

Just keep praying. Pray for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.


I'm so sorry Elijah. 
I wish we could be together.
I wish I didn't have to dread September 10th.
I just wish you were here.
I love you my boogie.
<3



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