428: Its Been a Long Day

It is 7:33pm.

It is another night where it feels like it should be at least midnight by now.

We are in between batches of pralines and don’t have internet at the new place, so I am typing this blog up in Pages (which is Apple’s version of word), and then I will head to dad’s in a little while to post it.

Today started off super rough.

The kids decided to be on their worst behavior as my dad came to finish up covering some electrical outlets— and then they proceeded to carry that behavior into town as we tried to hand out little bags of candy to people working as our first www.illbehomeforchristmas.com random acts of kindness day.

It started out that most people were really gracious, but then we ran into some really hesitant people. And I guess my frustration wasn’t that they didn’t want the candy. It was that the kindness was coming from my children and they were turning it down.  

But ANYways….

A lot of people (and this usually happens) asked if we were raising money for something….lol, to which I just explained we were just trying to build our community. 

But after a while of trying, and the kids being just awful, I turned around and came home. Then I sat in my car and cried my eyes out.

I talked to Levi on the phone and told him I was just ready to give up.

I came here hoping I could at least make the best of our situation by making some sort of positive impact on Natchitoches, and I just felt like people that could care less. And even worst, I felt like my own kids could care less.

I had to step back for a little while and rethink it all. I had to vent and cry. I had to find a way for myself to continue to care.

So I went back to our new place and the kids and I cleaned up a bit…and just putting some things away and clearing off my kitchen countertops made me feel a little better.

Then I drove over to my dad’s and did my drawing for the free Eli The Crawfish book…which also made me feel a lot better.

After that, I just decided to load the kids up and go through local drive thru’s and deliver the candy bags to people working this Friday night. And I am so glad I did.

I could hear the appreciation in their voices and see the pleasant surprises on their faces.

Maybe not everyone in this town “needs” our kindness—but there are still people out there who appreciate it, and they make all of the effort worth it.

See Elijah, I haven’t given up—even on the really hard days. And believe me, today was one of them.

Alright…I really need to get back to helping Alex with these pralines. 

Tomorrow is the last green market for a while and these kids reallllllllly want to go to Hawaii ;) He needs lots of good stuff to sale.

Good night everyone.

Please continue to pray for our world. Pray for our country. Pray for our veterans. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And Always, always pray for my sweet Elijah <3

Thank you.

P.S. Happy Veteran’s day to all our veteran’s out there. And special hugs to the parent’s who have lost their children who passed away while serving our country. You are on my heart tonight. 

Oh sweet sweet boy.

I took some of your stuff out today and placed it on a shelf. 

I can see your little stuffed animals now, and your books. 

I just wish I could see you.

I love and miss you so much my boogie.

Always. 

<3