474: Questions with no Answers

It is 9:27am.

Yesterday I wrote a good bit on my novel until I got to a point where my character "Elijah" asks God a question...and it was a question that I could not answer.

It is hard to find answers, Biblically speaking, that make sense when it comes to "Why does God allow some people to die young and why miracles happens for others?"

In fact, in doing some reading on the internet this morning, I have read some horrible and judgmental reasoning.

Alternatively, I have also read some very loving and hopeful but vague reasoning.

But what I have failed to find, is some sort of comfort in an answer that makes sense to me.

We, as humans, really love have answers to everything, especially when things seem really unfair.

I struggle with the question of why lifesaving miracles seem to happen for some and not for others?

In fact, not too long ago there was heartwarming movie made about proving that God is real because of a miracle that happened for some family when a child's life was saved through an incident that would normally considered a tragic accident.

Sure, it is a beautiful story, but if that is proof that God exists then why didn't Elijah get a miracle? Why don't all children get this miracle?

Is that really the proof we have that God exists? That he helps a few "lucky" people out by saving their lives...

What about the rest of us who have experienced the tragic untimely loss of a loved one and wondered where our miracles are? What are we supposed to believe.

While I have found that God has brought beauty to Elijah's death through the story we tell everyday of Elijah's love and kindness, I still have yet to find any concrete answers as to why he had to leave so early.

And maybe I never will.

It is bigger than me. It is bigger than Elijah.

I believe that God lives in all things, and in all of us. I believe that he would not want anyone to suffer and he is loving. I also believe he has carried me through a lot of my pain. This is not a "bash" God blog.

To be honest, I don't know that anyone will ever have an answer that I will be satisfied with. I just simply hit a block in the road and came across a question that I can not answer, nor have I found any answers that make sense...

So what does that mean for my novel? Will the fictional "Creator" I am writing about have answers? Should I give him an answer? I don't know.

I have tried to tie as many options and beliefs into the story as possible because it is fictional and I don't want it to seem like I am trying to emulate the "real Heaven." Obviously I know very little about Heaven, or God, or what is the "right" or "wrong" answer.

At one point, my main characters visit with a character who is preparing for reincarnation, and I think it will be much easier to write about because it seems that reincarnation has a pretty clear set of rules. (for the most part)

According to some beliefs, in reincarnation a new soul continues to reenter the earth over and over again in different bodies until it has graduated to an old soul and has completed its path to purity and salvation, and only then may it join the afterlife. And sometimes in between these journeys, a soul must rest in limbo before moving on to the next life.

There is no damnation to hell, there is merely living and learning until you get it right. It is a pretty simple, but beautiful concept.

Anyways, I guess I should get back to "researching" and writing instead of rambling on about things that are way above and beyond little ole me. ;)

This will be a hard wall to break through, but "nothing worthwhile comes easy."

Please keep praying for our world. Pray for my family. Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Hi sweet boy.

Look at that silly face.

I love this picture of you.

I love all the pictures of you.

I love you.

I miss you so much.

And even though I don't know why you had to go,

I do know that you are shining down

on me from somewhere up above.

Always.

<3