Today has been pretty good. I got the kids scheduled for a doctor's appointment this Friday for all of the to have physicals--which are really overdue. So that was kind of like an accomplishment for me.
It is really weird how anxiety and depression can make mountains out of molehills, and make the most simple tasks into terrifying endeavors.
Kudos to me for continuing to fight through the funk and getting stuff done, especially for my kids.
But honestly, my favorite part of the day was seeing Julien and Gabriel dance at a Wii Dance party at the library tonight. At first Julien didn't want to (I think he thought he was too cool). But then, they found the Angry Birds song and he decided to give it a try--and then he loved it!
It was so nice to see them cut loose and dance...and the free pizza for dinner didn't hurt either lol.
Tomorrow I will be cleaning house for 6 hours straight..and to be honest I have anxiety just thinking about leaving Julien and Gabriel with my dad that long. I know that my dad won't let anything bad happen to them, but he has his own struggles with depression and anxiety and sometimes these two can be quite a handful...
I am really blessed to have this cleaning job (or any cleaning jobs at all) and I am thankful. But I am always stressed about leaving them behind.
One day I will finish this novel and I will become a best selling author ;) Then I won't have these worries.
Until then, this is my reality. And I better get some sleep because six hours of cleaning already sounds exhausting lol.
I don't believe there will ever be a second I don't miss you Elijah.
You are in every thought I think.
In every breath I breathe.
You are in my heart always
and I will love you more and more everyday.
Good night my boogie.
<3
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