681: Little Coincidences

It is 9:39pm.

Today I brought the boys to counseling for the first time.

I put far more worry into it then I should have. But the kids do need some adjustments to happen so that they can grieve/cope "better." Right now there is so much stress piled on top of the core issues that we can't even get close to the things that need to be addressed.

One of the biggest stressors for them has been the move back to Natchitoches. Their life in Orlando was a big difference between the life they have now.  Not that it is all bad, but they do miss a life full of theme parks and the beach, and Alex misses the gym a lot!

And now of course, there is Levi and I living separately...plus a few other things.

Let's just say there is a lot going on, and there is no real easy answer.

Oh and how I wish I had an easy answer. However it seems like lately with  my neck/arm being injured and a lack of work because of a variety of issues, I really haven't been able to save up any money to help us move or fix up the bus to move like we had planned.

(P.S. When we bought the bus, we were expecting some money to come in, but that kind of fell through. But there is still hope of it happening at some point. But it may be a while).

It has been tough, and it stresses me out--which in turn adds more stress for the kids.

So, now I really have to work on my response to stress, as well as really work on the kid's environment and keep it uplifting and positive, all while balancing my grief and depression. (deep breath)

But the great thing about the counselor was that she did do a lot of empathizing with my situation, and she did compliment my efforts. Plus she told me I was doing a good job with Alex. (We still have  way to go to see if the other 2 turn out okay lol).

Overall, even though I am a little stressed at all the "unstressing" we need to do, I am really glad that we finally got the kids some counseling.

Oh and I called to check on my referral at LSU about my neck/arm and I found out that my referral is still pending. Super aggravating. This just means I will have to make another doctor's appointment and hope for someone who can actually help me. This is so tiring and I am tired of the pain and tingling.

So send lots of love, because of--well everything.

I will not stress. I will not stress. I will not stress.

Love you guys! Go change the world.

Please keep praying for our world. Pray for our country. Pray for our families. Pray for me. Pray for you! And always always pray for my sweet Elijah.

Thank you

I was thinking earlier about the night I went to Dairy Queen with you in the car.

I had went to go and get blizzards, 

because DQ was donating proceeds from blizzard sales

that night to Children's Miracle Network.

However, something was wrong with the card machine, 

and we were having to wait.

You started screaming in the car.

In fact your screams were so loud and so convincing 

that the lady at the window, just gave me all the blizzards for free!

So I went home and donated the money I would have spent on blizzards

to The Children's Miracle Network.

Even then you were inspiring me to be more kind.

And tonight, while typing this blog, 

I saw the commercial for DQ donating to Children's Miracle Network. 

Sometimes these thoughts, and little coincidences 

make me feel like our connection is still just as strong as ever.

But I still miss you.

I love you Elijah.

Always.

<3