It has been 800 days since I last held Elijah.
I woke up this morning thinking of this song:
Never feared for anything
Never shamed but never free
A life to heal the broken heart with all that it could
Lived a life so endlessly
Saw beyond what others see
I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could
Will you stay?
Will you stay away forever?
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away
Plans of what our futures hold
Foolish lies of growing old
It seems we're so invincible
The truth is so cold
A final song, a last request
A perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find
A place in my mind
Where you can stay
You can stay away forever
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away
Sleep tight, I'm not afraid (not afraid)
The ones that we love are here with me
Lay away a place for me (place for me)
'Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way
To live eternally
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
When I have so much to say and you're so far away
I love you, you were ready
The pain is strong and urges rise
But I'll see you, when He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands untied
So far away (so far)
And I need you to know
So far away (so far)
And I need you to, need you to know
Elijah has been sending so many signs through friends these last few days. Hearts and kindness everywhere sure help with these hard days. Thank you so much to all of you who have relayed the message. You are amazing.
It has been 800 days of agony--but I am 800 days stronger and 800 days closer to Elijah.
Today I made a Facebook Page for Elijah's Little Library. The plan right now is to "open" December 23rd. I will do a small ceremony, but I know it is very close to Christmas so there might not be a large attendance, and I am okay with that. We will hold a few other events throughout the year--the best we can. I am just ready to get this thing up, and feel like I have finally accomplished something "big" for Elijah.
Here is the Facebook Page if you want to go give it a "like": www.facebook.com/LoveElijahLibrary
Alex left to go to BoyScouts Camp today!
Oh my gosh you guys, he is getting so big. I am so happy that he is getting to go to camp and have some time to grow and learn--and become more independent. I just hope he remembers to be true to himself and be the kind of person that makes others feel good about themselves. That is really all I want from my kids...
Alright, the neighbor's dog is visiting and is starting to fart lol. Time to bring him back home.
Sending you all love.
Keep praying for our world. Pray for our Earth. Pray for our families. Pray for our children. Pray for hope. Pray for joy. Pray for love. And always always pray for my sweet sweet Elijah.
Thank you
I have no idea how I have survived 800 days without you.
Looking back at those first moments where I could barely breathe.
I still find it hard to breathe somedays.
I miss and love you everyday.
Always.
<3
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