820: You Are My Sunshine

It is 10:51am

I am blogging now, because I need to finish folding clothes and packing so that we can leave by 3:15 to go to the library for the Christmas Party, then drive to Shreveport for MMA classes, and THEN leave for Georgia.

Also, I am killing time until it is time for me to eat lol. I have been intermitted fasting lately, which means that I start eating later in the day and stop eating earlier in the day. There are lots of good Youtube videos on this if you need further information.

I just finished watching a Ted Talk on Happiness and how it is truly all in our heads. The only way to reach true happiness, according to the speaker, is to not outsource it. Which means, regardless of the people (or lack of people) and circumstances in your life you can choose to be happy if you really want to. But it has to be an inside job.

We all know this right? Like I am pretty sure I have heard it 10000000000000 times. But for whatever reason, this morning it struck me pretty hard.

I am SOOO guilty of saying I will be happy "when," instead of saying I want to be happy now. I am also SOOO guilty of letting other people have an effect on my happiness. I, as I have stated MANY times before, am not perfect. As much as I want other people to love themselves, be kind, and live their dreams so that they can be happy--I struggle with my own happiness.

I have some reasons to struggle, and I will honor that, but I also have a LOT of reasons to be happy.

So I will have to find a way to deal with the anxiety and depression I have inherited. I will continue to fight through the grief, and I will stop making excuses and letting life pass me by.

Today I choose to be Happy. School Bus Yellow Happy. I am going to enjoy my day and not let anything or anyone bring me down.

First-- I will meditate. Next I will write down 10 things I am thankful for. Then I will eat, find something that makes me laugh, and conquer the day. I can and will do this. I choose happiness. Not just for today--for every day.

Thank you for reading my blog. You truly are amazing. I love you all.

Keep praying for our world. Pray for our Earth. Pray for our families. Pray for our children. Pray for hope. Pray for peace. Pray for love. Pray for you! Pray for me. And always always pray for my sweet sweet Elijah.

Thank you.

Although I miss you every single day,

I am so happy for every single moment I got with you--

from beginning to end.

I love you I love you I love you.

You are my sunshine.

Always.

<3