I'm kind of a mess this evening. It is bereaved Mother's Day. I feel stuck in life right now. I know I have some good things possibly on the horizon, but in the mean time I am struggling, and I am tired of struggling.
When I say that I am trying to be positive, it is because I am literally trying. I put ALOT of work into my mental stability each day, and sometimes I still fail.
I miss Elijah. I miss my baby. I hate that I even have to acknowledge Bereaved Mother's Day. I just want my son back.
I see the affects that all this stress and trauma has had on my family, and where we should be soaring, we are crawling. I see my kids struggling with their emotions and anger that shouldn't be there.
I see all my hope and dreams, but everything just seems so heavy and hard right now.
I don't know. It is just a hard day.
I'm going to go take a bath and get ready for bed.
If you are a bereaved parent, please know that my heart breaks for each and everyone of us and I love you and your children so so much. Our children matter. They matter so much.
Please, please please Change the world and do it for Elijah.
Thank you.
I wish I had all the right words.
Sometimes I just don't.
I miss you more than I know how to explain.
I love you even more.
I just want you home with me.
Always.
<3
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