1094: Repaint

It is 7:26pm.

I feel like I might be getting sick again...not strep...well I don't think. It feels like a sinus infection maybe? My ears are stuffy and kind of hurt, and my throat has been itching and burning like crazy at night. There is lots of pressure in my ears right now.

I've tried nasal spray, cold and allergy medicine and benadryl but nothing seems to be cutting it. I have to go to the doctor on Tuesday anyway, so I am hoping that I can hold off until then for a visit. Please send love. Tomorrow is going to be hard enough, I really don't want to be sick too.

So, because we can't afford to really go anywhere for Elijah's anniversary of passing, I decided to take the $100 we have and use some of it towards fixing Elijah's little library. The door needs some repairs and the whole thing needs to be repainted. Tomorrow I will take the door off and try to fix it, and I will start to repaint. I hope I can get it all done tomorrow, but I don't know what the weather will be like.

We will also have a special meal, and place sunflowers in Cane River.

It's nothing extravagant, but at least we will be honoring Elijah in a kind way, and that is the most important thing to me.

I got a new canvas last night. Since I am painting the places I would like to visit, I am trying to decide if I want to paint the day of the dead celebration in Janitzio, Mexico or the butterfly migration in Angangueo, Mexico.

I'm just trying to keep myself sane by painting, so I guess whatever I choose, it will be fine. The more I look at the last 2 paintings I did, the more I love them. They are colorful and happy, much like the way I imagine the real experiences to be. Maybe one day I will see these places outside my paintings. Maybe one day I will spread Elijah's love all over the world like I've dreamed.

I really don't want tomorrow to come. Can we just skip it?

Time to lose myself in painting and studying my hypnotherapy course. Sending you all lots of love.

Go change the world. Do it for Elijah.

Thank you.

I hope it is enough,

what I am doing to honor you.

Just know that I would always do more if I could.

I love and miss you so much.

Always.

<3